23/10/2012

Wow I haven't posted in eight days... Sorry

Well nothing has really happened that's worth telling you about at all.  I've had school and I only have eight days of grade 11 left.  It's so exciting but scary at the same time because that means after school has finished I have a week then I start exams! I'm not sure how I'm going to go with them. Hopefully I get really good marks for my Art because I have actually worked so hard and I would just be so devastated if I didn't get a good mark.  Any way on the weekend it was or I was pretty emotional and for those who actually know me, I don't get emotional at all.  On Friday my Grandfather started chemotherapy again for I think the third or fourth time in a year. It's hard to live with him, to be in the same house as a really sick person that can potentially die in a year.  I'm not sure how I'm going to feel when he does pass.  I don't think I will have time to grieve because I will be more worried about my mum and my aunty. Trying to keep the family going.  Even though he has been sick for ages it's still going to hurt when he does leave this world.  Because he's sick mum can't work because she is looking after him so we don't much money at all.  It's just starting to get really hard.  I can see all the stress that mum is under and it worries me.

I'm starting to fall back into my old patterns.  In hearing some bad news from a friend on the weekend it has triggered old feelings and old habits.  It's making me feel guilty for not noticing and not doing anything.  I have moments when I just want to give in.  I have times where I feel so sad because I remember those times that I want to forget but then I'll be back to how I was before.

I'm excited to finish school for this year, and that means that I only have one more year left then I'm out into the real world!! Well dinner is soon so boo, I'm going downstairs.

I'm really into This singer called Bridgit Mendler, whose debut album came out yesterday, it's called Hello My Name Is...   I'm really cool.  I also like this song called Old School by Hedley :D

Well I'm off bye for now and I probably wont be back on for a while knowing me.